Fear - she's a bitch

It has been nearly a year since I have written an entry on this blog. At first it was because my mojo had dried and creative Nancy was no where to be found. Then it was time, or the lack of it, so I just didn't write. Then it was easier to be lazy; to put it off, and suddenly that was the norm.

Things have happened in the last year and I know the meditation through writing would have probably helped clear my head and set things straight but it was easier just to NOT do it because NOT doing it would mean I couldn't fail. It also meant that I didn't have to face the changes that were happening.

It is funny how fear can stop us from doing things we like. Fear of success is a paralyzing emotion and nearly has harmful as fear of failure. Fear can rob a person of joy and fulfilment. It can hold a person back from achieving potential. Fear, shes a bitch.

Writing the blog isn't the only fear that has been holding me back. I have also been afraid to really get healthy again. In my 20's and 30's I was fit and felt great. Now, in my 40's I've found it easier to just NOT be fit or healthy. I had a major eye opener this past June at the camp for which I volunteer. I was 'racing' one of my campers and at the end I was doubled over and unable to get my breath . . .for A. Very.Long.Time. That has never, ever, never, been the case before and ouch, the pride was punctured, I realized I might actually have an expiration date and it could be enforced sooner than expected if I didn't stop - STOPPING.

So as the final year of my 40's quickly approaches, I am not going to take this laying down an longer . . .(er, not going to take this sitting on the couch, laying down, or anything to avoid body movement). I have found a running friend and we are going to hold each other accountable to see this thing through. We have a 5k goal for October 1st (send good thoughts)as our first motivational target. I have also been doing core workouts to keep my back in shape because it isn't until that baby hurts 24-7 that you realize how important a back is to your overall happiness.

But mostly, I have decided that fear will not rob me of my joy any longer. By the way, you have no idea how afraid I was to post that I am 'working out again' because I have failed at this many times over the past years but that is the point isn't it.

Talk with you soon . . . .promise.

Assignment: Help others find peace in the sea of fear they may face.