Me, My friend Anne, and Author Anne Lamott
A HARD WAY TO LEARN: Even at 50, life is still trying to teach me lessons.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
I need a genie in a bottle
If a genie came to me and asked me for three wishes, I wouldn’t take them. Nope, I don’t need three wishes. Right now I just need one wish granted. I need more time in the day. Yep, more time would mean I could fit in things like family meals, visits to my mom, a healthy workout, a hobby, and full 8-hours of sleep (which studies show is necessity not a luxury). I could fit in time for friends and volunteering.
I know other people do it – all the time –but I can’t seem to get it together. I don’t get home till after 7:00 most night due to work or the kids track meets. I spent 10 hours plus a week on the road. I spent 40 – 50 hours a week working. I have to sleep – studies support that. Oh what to do? What to do?
Maybe if that genie came to me for my three wishes, I won’t ask for time – I would ask for all our financial obligations (past, present, and future) to be met so that I could make time for anything and everything non-work or sleep. I could be a Real Wife of Small West Michigan Rural Community. Just wear fancy denim, learn to farm, and dedicate myself to local efforts. Local efforts that would mean I could ride my bike to meetings (thus getting a workout in at the same time as volunteering).
Hum, well it doesn’t matter because there is no genie, no extended time allotment, nor financial security for people who are not Oprah.
Assignment: If you have a few hours or dollars to spare – give me a call. I have plans for both!
I know other people do it – all the time –but I can’t seem to get it together. I don’t get home till after 7:00 most night due to work or the kids track meets. I spent 10 hours plus a week on the road. I spent 40 – 50 hours a week working. I have to sleep – studies support that. Oh what to do? What to do?
Maybe if that genie came to me for my three wishes, I won’t ask for time – I would ask for all our financial obligations (past, present, and future) to be met so that I could make time for anything and everything non-work or sleep. I could be a Real Wife of Small West Michigan Rural Community. Just wear fancy denim, learn to farm, and dedicate myself to local efforts. Local efforts that would mean I could ride my bike to meetings (thus getting a workout in at the same time as volunteering).
Hum, well it doesn’t matter because there is no genie, no extended time allotment, nor financial security for people who are not Oprah.
Assignment: If you have a few hours or dollars to spare – give me a call. I have plans for both!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
100th Post
Today is my 100th post and in celebration I will share a story of endurance and dedication.
This is Maddy. She is my daughter and a regular feature of past blog postings. This year Maddy decided to join the high school track team. Maddy has always wanted to be a part of a school sports team but bless her little heart; she isn’t a natural athlete. She has tried out for teams and narrowly missed the final cut. This winter she decided that track would be her answer.
One of her sister’s was a track star back in her high school and college days. One of her brothers also ran. Her father and I are former runners. This year, her brother Andy decided to drop golf for track so Maddy said this was her year too.
She is learning a very important lesson. She is learning that sports aren’t recreational – to be an athlete takes time, practice, and determination. She is learning that in order to run a full mile she has to log many miles throughout the week. She is learning that being a part of a team is being part of something larger than you. Being a team unites a group in focus, spirit, and friendship.
Maddy isn’t the fastest runner on the team. In truth, her mile time is nearly a minute off the other girls. That means that Maddy is often the only person running on track at the end of the race. But she never stops.
For Maddy the race isn’t about winning. It isn’t about having the fastest time. It is about believing in yourself. It is about working so hard to accomplish a dream that you will endure being the last person still running on the track. It is about discovering that your team members and coaches love you, cheer for you, and are a part of achieving your goal.
When Maddy finishes her mile and catches her breath she puts on her sweats and takes her position along the sideline so she can cheer on her team. Maddy’s team!
Assignment: Remember while each step brings you closer to your goal – but you have to commit to taking that first step.
This is Maddy. She is my daughter and a regular feature of past blog postings. This year Maddy decided to join the high school track team. Maddy has always wanted to be a part of a school sports team but bless her little heart; she isn’t a natural athlete. She has tried out for teams and narrowly missed the final cut. This winter she decided that track would be her answer.
One of her sister’s was a track star back in her high school and college days. One of her brothers also ran. Her father and I are former runners. This year, her brother Andy decided to drop golf for track so Maddy said this was her year too.
She is learning a very important lesson. She is learning that sports aren’t recreational – to be an athlete takes time, practice, and determination. She is learning that in order to run a full mile she has to log many miles throughout the week. She is learning that being a part of a team is being part of something larger than you. Being a team unites a group in focus, spirit, and friendship.
Maddy isn’t the fastest runner on the team. In truth, her mile time is nearly a minute off the other girls. That means that Maddy is often the only person running on track at the end of the race. But she never stops.
For Maddy the race isn’t about winning. It isn’t about having the fastest time. It is about believing in yourself. It is about working so hard to accomplish a dream that you will endure being the last person still running on the track. It is about discovering that your team members and coaches love you, cheer for you, and are a part of achieving your goal.
When Maddy finishes her mile and catches her breath she puts on her sweats and takes her position along the sideline so she can cheer on her team. Maddy’s team!
Assignment: Remember while each step brings you closer to your goal – but you have to commit to taking that first step.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Listening
I have to write today for the simple therapeutic release it will hopefully bring.
I have learned one important parenting lesson in my life: when your children work up enough courage to start talking – shut up and listen. With this lesson comes a heavy burden because as your child begins to share his fears, heartache, and concerns for life; you begin to hurt inside.
Your heart aches because there is nothing you can do to fix the problem. A child has to be rejected, lose a friendship, or have their morals tested in order to grow into the person they are meant to become. A child has to suffer so they can grow stronger and prepare themselves for the challenges of life. Without these hardships, children would not grow up to be healthy parents, partners, or professionals.
But as a parent, when your teenage child starts to open up and you can see a part of them wants you to make it all better but knows you can’t – it hurts. So you listen. You ask if you can share a perspective. You offer a hug. You tell them you love them. Finally, you let them know that they are just about the most special person on the face of the earth and that everything will be okay. Then you send them to bed for a nights sleep.
One of the most troubling things is to know that when they wake up, they will close up again and they will carry all this in their hearts alone. The moment is over and they are in the process of working it out. You will never learn the end result or know how long it took them to heal – but they will. In the meantime, you will worry about them (more than normal) and you will watch them for signs that things are okay again.
And, you will do all of this without being able to share it with others.
Assignment: Thanks for listening.
I have learned one important parenting lesson in my life: when your children work up enough courage to start talking – shut up and listen. With this lesson comes a heavy burden because as your child begins to share his fears, heartache, and concerns for life; you begin to hurt inside.
Your heart aches because there is nothing you can do to fix the problem. A child has to be rejected, lose a friendship, or have their morals tested in order to grow into the person they are meant to become. A child has to suffer so they can grow stronger and prepare themselves for the challenges of life. Without these hardships, children would not grow up to be healthy parents, partners, or professionals.
But as a parent, when your teenage child starts to open up and you can see a part of them wants you to make it all better but knows you can’t – it hurts. So you listen. You ask if you can share a perspective. You offer a hug. You tell them you love them. Finally, you let them know that they are just about the most special person on the face of the earth and that everything will be okay. Then you send them to bed for a nights sleep.
One of the most troubling things is to know that when they wake up, they will close up again and they will carry all this in their hearts alone. The moment is over and they are in the process of working it out. You will never learn the end result or know how long it took them to heal – but they will. In the meantime, you will worry about them (more than normal) and you will watch them for signs that things are okay again.
And, you will do all of this without being able to share it with others.
Assignment: Thanks for listening.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Saying Goodbye is so hard
My little 2005 Vibe is getting old. She has more than 200,000 miles on her. I feel ya, little Vibe.
So I had to look for a new used car. Isn't it pretty? Because I work for a non-profit Tom asked me; What would people say?. I say they would think I was as hot as my pretty little sports car!
Look how it shines. What a pretty little car. The repair costs would be out-of-control high. But . . so . .pretty. It only has rear-wheel drive - not practical at all for where I live. . . .but . . .pretty and see how it shines? Wouldn't I look great in this car? It would drive so fast!!!
I purchased a 2008 Chevy Impala instead. My first car was a 1969 Chevy Impala. My dad gave it to me in 1979. It was two-tone blue. Dark blue body with a light blue top. I could get 9 girls in it to sneak into the drive-in. It was a good car.
Today was the Impala's first trip to and from work. In five years, I hope I love it as much as I loved my little Vibe. I will miss you Little Vibe.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
What I am Reading Right NOW! - Epilogue
Epilogue: I cannot remember the last time I started and finished a book in one day. The Middle Place was an honest read filled with tears, laughter, love and most importantly faith.
What I am Reading Right NOW!
A few months ago I was at Barnes and Noble when I saw The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan on the clearance table for $4.00. I have had this book in my hand from time to time but never made the purchase. This time I thought; why not, I mean I have paid more for worse so take a chance.
I am currently in between book club reads, so this morning I picked up the book to start reading it. I have only been reading it for about an hour and I am already in love. It is written with a deep range of emotion. I can feel what this Corrigan is experiencing. The book had me crying by page 26 – PAGE 26 – oh what fun this read will be!
Assignment: Please do not bother me for the rest of the day – I have some serious reading to do!
I am currently in between book club reads, so this morning I picked up the book to start reading it. I have only been reading it for about an hour and I am already in love. It is written with a deep range of emotion. I can feel what this Corrigan is experiencing. The book had me crying by page 26 – PAGE 26 – oh what fun this read will be!
Assignment: Please do not bother me for the rest of the day – I have some serious reading to do!
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Wine
I have officially hit a turning point in m life. I can no longer drink wine. I have never fully been a wine fan. It isn’t my first drink of choice, mainly because I don’t know enough about vino to know what I am supposed to like. However, my lack of knowledge didn’t overshadow my willingness to try to learn.
All was well until a few years ago. I started to notice a change after an evening out with friends. I would wake up in the middle of the night with energy abound. It didn’t happen every time I had a glass but enough that I started to become cautious.
Last night, our Dam Book Club met to discuss our recent read. I had a couple glasses of wine (and I assure you these were small glasses). I was not impaired in the slightest but when I got home . . . . energy abound. I was up till well past 2:00 am and I woke up again at 3:30.
So that’s it, I am finished with wine. I don’t enjoy the flavor enough to deal with the anxiety that comes with a glass. Thankfully, I do have a very positive relationship with vodka . . . . .
Assignment: Don’t whine – it’s just wine!
All was well until a few years ago. I started to notice a change after an evening out with friends. I would wake up in the middle of the night with energy abound. It didn’t happen every time I had a glass but enough that I started to become cautious.
Last night, our Dam Book Club met to discuss our recent read. I had a couple glasses of wine (and I assure you these were small glasses). I was not impaired in the slightest but when I got home . . . . energy abound. I was up till well past 2:00 am and I woke up again at 3:30.
So that’s it, I am finished with wine. I don’t enjoy the flavor enough to deal with the anxiety that comes with a glass. Thankfully, I do have a very positive relationship with vodka . . . . .
Assignment: Don’t whine – it’s just wine!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Waistline
So, as mentioned earlier, I gave up extra spending for Lent. This meant that I needed to pack my lunch each day for work. I enjoyed it and will continue doing this because it is wise. However, while this practice saves me money – it is taking a toll on my waist line. Let me explain . . . . . .
Over packing food is a learned trait in my family. Growing up as an only child in a home with Depression Era parents literally meant; clean your plate there are children in the world starving. Team this with the invention of processed food for the busy housewife (an invention I am sure made my mom’s Top 3 List) and it created a recipe for disaster: Food+Guilt = EAT EVERYTHING.
I remember once in elementary school my class decided to walk in the annual March of Dimes fund-raiser. Being the naturally-born, non-profit leader that I am; I diligently went house to house to collect pledges for how many miles I would walk that day. I lived in an urban setting so there were houses aplenty – meaning dollars aplenty possible for that charity (hum, this profession really was my destiny).
Here is what I remember about the day of the walk. I dressed in my cutest pink top with short puffy sleeves and my silver cross (given for perfect Sunday School attendance). Listen, you have to look good in this line of business. I also remember it was an extremely sunny day and my silver cross was serving as a lightning rod for the sunbeams. I had terribly shaped sunburn by day’s end.
Finally, I remember the lunch my mom packed for me. There were enough Ho-Hos, Twinkies, sandwiches, and supplies to have lasted a camping weekend not to mention the 100 mile (but really probably more like 5 mile) hike I was going to do that day. I had to carry my lunch in a cloth bag – probably a pillow case (mom liked using them for many things other than sleeping). It weighted a ton and with each mile I conquered it felt like it weighted more.
I finished that walk and as a reward – there were free hot dogs and soda waiting for us at the end. The food in my pillow case was melted and crushed so I had the dogs instead. Bringing that food home must have been painful. Clearly so, because I remember it all to this day!
PS: As the non-profit leader I am, that very afternoon – covered in sweat and sunburn – I went house to house to collect the promised pledges!
Assignment: Maybe it is okay to leave some food on the plate (or pillowcase).
Over packing food is a learned trait in my family. Growing up as an only child in a home with Depression Era parents literally meant; clean your plate there are children in the world starving. Team this with the invention of processed food for the busy housewife (an invention I am sure made my mom’s Top 3 List) and it created a recipe for disaster: Food+Guilt = EAT EVERYTHING.
I remember once in elementary school my class decided to walk in the annual March of Dimes fund-raiser. Being the naturally-born, non-profit leader that I am; I diligently went house to house to collect pledges for how many miles I would walk that day. I lived in an urban setting so there were houses aplenty – meaning dollars aplenty possible for that charity (hum, this profession really was my destiny).
Here is what I remember about the day of the walk. I dressed in my cutest pink top with short puffy sleeves and my silver cross (given for perfect Sunday School attendance). Listen, you have to look good in this line of business. I also remember it was an extremely sunny day and my silver cross was serving as a lightning rod for the sunbeams. I had terribly shaped sunburn by day’s end.
Finally, I remember the lunch my mom packed for me. There were enough Ho-Hos, Twinkies, sandwiches, and supplies to have lasted a camping weekend not to mention the 100 mile (but really probably more like 5 mile) hike I was going to do that day. I had to carry my lunch in a cloth bag – probably a pillow case (mom liked using them for many things other than sleeping). It weighted a ton and with each mile I conquered it felt like it weighted more.
I finished that walk and as a reward – there were free hot dogs and soda waiting for us at the end. The food in my pillow case was melted and crushed so I had the dogs instead. Bringing that food home must have been painful. Clearly so, because I remember it all to this day!
PS: As the non-profit leader I am, that very afternoon – covered in sweat and sunburn – I went house to house to collect the promised pledges!
Assignment: Maybe it is okay to leave some food on the plate (or pillowcase).
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Happy Easter
This year for Lent I gave up ‘extra’ spending. I know that our family is blessed many times over. We have all the material things we could ever want or need, yet like many, we continue to purchase. I thought making a concentrated effort to give up extra spending would be a good reminder of those blessings.
In truth I do not know how I did. I know there were exceptions here and their. I know Tom paid for some things I normally would have so our family would not have to ‘suffer’. I think I did okay but I was not perfect. I made mistakes.
During one point, in these past forty days, there was a time when I was feeling the need to fill my emptiness with a purchase. I remember negotiating with myself that one little ‘known’ slip wouldn’t be all that bad and it would make me feel happy. But I knew that wasn’t true.
I walked out of that store and took a long walk. I prayed while walking. I was led to understand what was making me feel this emptiness and sadness. I drew from lessons learned during a recent Bible Study: how even after forgiveness we can be tempted to feel insignificant because of our past transgressions. How that shame and self disappointment can lead us to make bad choices. As I prayed, that feeling of emptiness was filled with happiness and understanding.
Yes, I was not perfect with my sacrificing during this season of Lent - but on that day; my heart was filled with joy. I experienced Lent in the way it was intended. I gave up my control for Gods.
Assignment: Happy Easter - Rejoice!
In truth I do not know how I did. I know there were exceptions here and their. I know Tom paid for some things I normally would have so our family would not have to ‘suffer’. I think I did okay but I was not perfect. I made mistakes.
During one point, in these past forty days, there was a time when I was feeling the need to fill my emptiness with a purchase. I remember negotiating with myself that one little ‘known’ slip wouldn’t be all that bad and it would make me feel happy. But I knew that wasn’t true.
I walked out of that store and took a long walk. I prayed while walking. I was led to understand what was making me feel this emptiness and sadness. I drew from lessons learned during a recent Bible Study: how even after forgiveness we can be tempted to feel insignificant because of our past transgressions. How that shame and self disappointment can lead us to make bad choices. As I prayed, that feeling of emptiness was filled with happiness and understanding.
Yes, I was not perfect with my sacrificing during this season of Lent - but on that day; my heart was filled with joy. I experienced Lent in the way it was intended. I gave up my control for Gods.
Assignment: Happy Easter - Rejoice!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
In Three Words
Good Morning America has a special segment that runs each Saturday morning. I think the title is Your Story: In Three Words. The segment runs in the final five minutes of the weekly programming. The show teams up an Indy Band’s music with home videos people submit. The video participants tell their story with nothing more than three written words.
Watching this is one of my absolute favorite Saturday traditions. This simple blend of music, people and three written words never fail to bring a tear to my eye. It is such an emotional experience. This morning I was sobbing to the image of a beautiful little redheaded girl picking herself up off the ground and taking wobbly steps toward her parents. She was a toddler and her legs were artificial. Her story’s three words: ALWAYS GET UP.
Assignment: ALWAYS GET UP!!
Watching this is one of my absolute favorite Saturday traditions. This simple blend of music, people and three written words never fail to bring a tear to my eye. It is such an emotional experience. This morning I was sobbing to the image of a beautiful little redheaded girl picking herself up off the ground and taking wobbly steps toward her parents. She was a toddler and her legs were artificial. Her story’s three words: ALWAYS GET UP.
Assignment: ALWAYS GET UP!!
Friday, April 2, 2010
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