Balance

A few years ago I heard a story that stuck with me. A mom was stressing out trying to make sure her children had three well-balanced meals a day. The children were stressing out because they wanted to eat junk food. Under the close supervision of a doctor, an experiment was conducted. For two weeks the children were allowed to eat whatever they wanted - whenever they wanted. I seem to recall that for the first two days, the son ate nothing but cookies. The daughter also indulged but her cookie spree lasted only one day.

As difficult as this was for the mom, the doctor assured her that eventually the children would self-select healthier choices. Just as predicted, the children did start adding fruits, vegetables, dairy, and proteins to their food intake. The experiment proved that our bodies will eventually crave those things that are good for us. In the end, the family found balance. The mom learned that sweet treats are not the end of the world and the children learned that good things come in moderation.

I share this story because I feel like the little boy who had unlimited cookies. This summer I have indulged in impulses and filled every free moment for our family. It has been an amazing summer and I am happy for all that we have and will continue to experience. But, like that little boy, I am craving balance and look forward to a school schedule, quite evenings and Saturday’s with nothing to do.

Assignment: Too much of a good thing may prove unhealthy. Find balance in your life.

TypePad Connect

Social Networking is challenging my techno skills. I have just (hopefully) installed TypePad Connect.

Plans

When I was a little girl I had a vision of my future. Inspired by a particularly motivating episode of “Room 222”, I saw a snippet of my potential. Dressed in a short skirt, knee-high socks, leather shoes (I would alternate between Mary Janes and Loafers), a white top and blue button-down sweater the future me would cradle her books in the crook of her arm while going from class to class. That was it. That was my vision in full; books in the crook of my arm. I was so excited by this revelation I clearly recall sharing this prophecy with my friend Barbie as we walked to school.

Later, with the pressure of “what to you want to be when you grow-up” being asked by every authority figure in my life, I decided I would become a children’s book author/illustrator or a teacher. This felt like a better reply than “a crook book carrier”. It gave adults something they wanted to hear and I think for some time I really did believe this could be my future. I liked making up stories, drawing, and my teachers so why not turn it into my bread and butter.

By the time I reached high-school my plans for the future whittled down to making sure I knew what was happening for the up-coming weekend. I didn’t think about college, career, marriage, or the future at all. The funny fact is since high school, I have never really planned out what my life would be like. I have always just rolled with the flow. This doesn’t mean I am not organized. No, I am an expert short-term planner. You need the most efficient way to run your weekend errands, call me up. Have you been thinking about a vacation but not sure how to fill the time, I can help. You want to implement an organizational change, do strategic planning or problem solve, please, I can do that with one-hand tied behind my back. But I have never had a vision of where I needed to be in life at any stage.

Call it destiny, serendipity, coincidence, or divine intervention (or a combination of each); I think I have always been where I have been meant to be in life. I have made some mistakes along the way but for the most part I think I am reaching some level of personal potential. Reflecting on my life to this point, I can identify links, relationships and personality traits to see patterns that lead me to this place but never a direct plan. Maybe I should be afraid that I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Maybe I should question if I am normal or not. Maybe I should just embrace past me, when carrying a book in the crook of my arm was the ultimate definition of success.

Assignment: Did your life plans turn out the way you always dreamed? Share your stories.

Rants, Ravings and Ramblings

Rants, Ravings, and Ramblings

Today was a great reminder that a person doesn’t have to be at work to have a bad Monday. Nothing serous happened but nothing ‘planned’ happened either. I had taken the day off because I was supposed to be returning home from a short trip to Ohio so our daughter could help celebrate her friend’s 16th birthday. The party was moved to another date but I decided to keep the day off anyway. I seldom have a day at home without someone being here and I was really looking forward to it starting with one of my favorite things: a late Sunday night. I love when everyone is in bed but I am still up watching a sappy movie or reading a book. Last night everything was on schedule except my body. One chapter into the book and I was asleep. It was only 11 and I was going to bed – on a rare and special late Sunday night. Me thinks this is an omen!

This morning, thanks in part to my age and the humidity, I woke at 5:30 AM and had a very hard time falling back asleep. Scratch ‘sleeps in’ off the list and get up to do some light chores before my workout. I have been lifting weights since summer began. I am trying to get back into shape. Okay, I am in a shape right now but I am trying to change it from a round, soft mass to something leaner. Today’s workout was a good one for my legs. They got all Jell-O-like shortly after I wrapped so that is a good sign. I think I have a lot of muscle under all this flesh. I bet if I lost 20lbs or more I would look like Madonna.

Then it was off for a super special treat, a movie by myself. This is so rare that both Andy and Maddy independently asked, “Why would you go to a movie by yourself?” Silly innocent children – they are why I would go to a movie by myself. I drove the 30 miles into town but started to get a funny feeling when I noticed all the traffic lights had stopped working and the roads were closed. Yes, last night’s storm had caused a whole community to lose power, tree limbs, and business for today. I am still unclear why this wasn’t mentioned on the news but it wasn’t. I did call the Theater just to check and see if I would have gotten a message that they are closed. Here’s a (hard) lesson to learn in a world of cell-phones - when a phone just rings it means no power.

I may be down, but I am not out yet. Being the think-on-my-feet kinda gal that I am, I decided to visit a very special Bistro/Bakery in the area. This is a true rare treat for me because this establishment is only open from 8-6 each day. I wanted to pick up something sweet for our treat tonight (please feel free to insert any comment about my muscles being hidden by my extra poundage in this space). I walked in and the place was still crowded after the noon rush was over – that is a great sign. I celebrated this businesses success and I am proud that I have turned my missed Meryl movie opportunity into a super cool new plan. I head to the counter. I wait. No problem, they are busy and there are only two waitresses for the little eight tabled Bistro – so I understand. I go to the restroom and return to the counter. A lovely young waitress is face to face with me. She is busy tabulating the cost of a customer’s bill (it was $11.84) so I wait for her to acknowledge me and say, I will be right with you. I have decided that I will not be the aggressor today – after all, I want to give them my money. I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman (sans the thigh-high boots). I have all this money . . . . and no one will take it. The waitress turns and walks away. I turn and head for the door.

Worry not for my spirit will not be crushed. I still have a great opportunity to visit my mom on a rare Monday afternoon. Her Assisted Living is crazy busy and I am kinda hoping everything is going okay inside because it appears there are a lot of professional medical cars in the parking lot. Turns out this is what life is like on a Monday for this community so I am relieved and now I hope that my mom is awake.

I feel it important to share two funny little stories here. As I was walking to the door a daughter was outside entertaining the residents with friendly conversation. This woman looked to be in her 40’s-50’s. She had just asked a resident her name (Clarisse - pretty right?) and was trying to tell her name to good-old Claire. She just kept yelling, “My name is Elisabeth, Elisabeth!!!” By the time I was to the doors I could see in the reflection that Elisabeth was now shouting in poor, sweet, old Claire’s ear! Let me tell you something about Alzheimer’s – people with it have selected hearing AND when there is confusion/chaos/or a person actually YELLING IN YOUR EAR it is 1,000 times worse.

Here is another thing that struck me about Elisabeth. She was wearing white sports socks and sandals. Perhaps there is a justifiable reason to do this but I can not think of it. To me this screams Commitment Phobia. Either it is nice enough to commit to sandals or you put on socks and shoes – there is no gray with this selection. If I am wrong, please someone explain it to me.

Then, as walking to mom’s room I overheard two old ladies having a fight. Lady One said “With all the cussing God is not going to take you to heaven when it is time to go”. Clearly Lady One is not Lutheran (can I get a shout out for Grace!). I also wondered the effectiveness of this threat at their age. I wonder if it creates fear or if they forget the whole conversation within an hour. I didn’t really hear Lady Two but I have decided she probably was uttering “go to hell’ under her breath.

Mom was up and let me stay for nearly 5 minutes today – she knew my name and liked that I brought her Sprite so it was a good way to end the afternoon. She didn’t raise no dummy so I decided to end the adventure on a high note.

Lesson: Don’t wear white sports socks with sandals – just don’t do it.

Empty Nest

Now that our ‘babies’ are teens (15 & 16) it isn’t uncommon for Tom and I to have Empty Nest Weekends. This weekend was no exception. Our scheduled weekend plans of a family canoe trip were changed so Andy and Maddy left us for sleepovers at friend’s homes. Generally we don’t do anything with these alone time opportunities but this past weekend we Empty Nested like we were dating again. Please when reading this know that it is okay to feel jealous – I would feel jealous if I were reading it from you. That is what friends do when they hear good news, they feel envy, and we are very good friends.

Tom and I have been together for nearly 22 years and we have worked hard on our relationship. Relationships, for anyone who walks upright and takes full advantage of their opposable thumbs, are seldom balanced. There are many give & take, ups & downs, and wins & loses – and that is just a Monday (insert a snare drum right about now. . . . “Ba-da-dat”).

I am not really sure what a perfect relationship is but I can tell you that after all this time together – I really like Tom. He is my friend. He makes me feel happy. He laughs at my jokes and likes when I roll my eyes at his. He pampers me and caters to my ‘inner-queen’ (most of the time). But mostly, and I think this is really very important, I can travel with him, spend hours with him, and be alone with him and in the end I still like him. I love many people, but I have an expiration date on how much consecutive time I can spend with someone. Tom has a long expiration date. He is like my own personal “Twinkie”: long self live, kinda bad for you, . . . . but oh so good (especially warmed up for a few seconds in the microwave).

We started our Empty Nest Weekend with an ‘early dinner – late lunch’ at a chain seafood restaurant. Now, this was a HUGE gift from Tom because he hates this place. It is kinda cheesy, the food is okay, and it is a chain (which I promise we don’t do often). It has been at least 20 years since we have been to this brand but their stupid commercials just created a longing in me. I had a rough week so Tom said, “Nancy, I am taking you to . . . .”. I thought he was doing a little mocking but really it was him giving in to the marketing junkie that I am. How can you not love a guy for that?

We followed the meal with the movie Funny People (super good and you can read about it on Jake’s Blog). Then on our way to get an ice cream we drove by. . . .(Wait, back that up. You did read that right: meal, movie, AND ice cream) . . . . We drove by a little mini-golf place and I said “Wouldn’t that be fun”. The next thing you know, Tom is beating me in a highly competitive game of mini-golf. (At this time I feel I must insert an editor’s note: This was a spontaneous game of mini-golf therefore I was in heals. Tom only beat me by 9 stokes because I blew 3 holes. I believe the heals actually negate at least 5 of those 9 stokes so I narrowly lost to him. Thank you.)

We topped the evening with ice cream while sitting at the beach watching a sailboat try to beat the twister like winds as it made its way into the channel. It was a great evening. Then, because this is a whole weekend of Empty Nesting, today we took the top off the Jeep and drove the back roads into Pentwater for a late lunch. As I read this, I wonder if we sound more like a really old couple instead of dating again? It doesn’t matter, because the point is we just spent 48 hours together without talking about our children, sharing many laughs, and I still like the guy. Yes, I think we are going to make it together!

Your Assignment: Spend some time with someone you like!

Pride, Prejudice, and Zombies

Warning: There are a few spoilers in this post.

This morning was nearly perfect. I woke early to overcast skies and was immediately relieved to shed any guilt I might have in finishing the book I have been reading here and there over the past month. And so I did. I lay in bed listening to the wind and read the final third of Pride, Prejudice and Zombies, by Jane Austin and Seth Grahame-Smith. Sounds like a perfect Saturday morning, right?

And so it was until Tom asked if I liked the book. Okay, I admit it, the addition of Zombies – genius entertainment. How can you not like plagued Charlotte proclaiming her entitlement to a proper beheading and burial? Or smile while reading about Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy’s celebration of love while taking down a dozen cauliflower-grazing undead. The undead thought the cauliflower were discarded brains –obvious error for undead. That is funny stuff – and the hope that a knock down-drag out zombie battle is what kept me reading. Seriously, Jane Austin – what I am I missing here with you babe? Okay, you are literary legend and I am committing blasphemy to many but really let’s all be honest. You are boring! Snorefest with a capital Zzzzz!

I understand the irony of a woman writing about a time when a gal’s goal in life was to be married. I get the injustice that her husband-to-be not only got a wife but a pretty hefty financial settlement too. I dig that Elizabeth was different and she wanted more –only to realize that love was truly her pathway. Okay, I will give you that – good irony – clever but get to the point will you Jane!

I could not have lived in this time of back-stabbing politeness. A time when everyone spoke much more than needed. Social climbing, judgmental, passive-aggressive, fakes the whole lot of them. Man, am I glad times have changed (that’s more irony for you folks).

Read Below for the Lesson Learned: You Assignment