Listening

I have to write today for the simple therapeutic release it will hopefully bring.

I have learned one important parenting lesson in my life: when your children work up enough courage to start talking – shut up and listen. With this lesson comes a heavy burden because as your child begins to share his fears, heartache, and concerns for life; you begin to hurt inside.

Your heart aches because there is nothing you can do to fix the problem. A child has to be rejected, lose a friendship, or have their morals tested in order to grow into the person they are meant to become. A child has to suffer so they can grow stronger and prepare themselves for the challenges of life. Without these hardships, children would not grow up to be healthy parents, partners, or professionals.

But as a parent, when your teenage child starts to open up and you can see a part of them wants you to make it all better but knows you can’t – it hurts. So you listen. You ask if you can share a perspective. You offer a hug. You tell them you love them. Finally, you let them know that they are just about the most special person on the face of the earth and that everything will be okay. Then you send them to bed for a nights sleep.

One of the most troubling things is to know that when they wake up, they will close up again and they will carry all this in their hearts alone. The moment is over and they are in the process of working it out. You will never learn the end result or know how long it took them to heal – but they will. In the meantime, you will worry about them (more than normal) and you will watch them for signs that things are okay again.

And, you will do all of this without being able to share it with others.

Assignment: Thanks for listening.