Halloween Bonus

As promised, I have stories about my children and I am not afraid to use them. Please note: in order to tell this story I must incriminate Tom and I as being parents who sometimes do not fully think things through.

When Jess, now 23, was in middle school she and her friend wanted to go the local haunted corn maze. Being a fan of Halloween I quickly agreed. Not only did I agree but I thought this a great family bonding experience. So Tom, Jess, Jess’ friend and I took Andy and Maddy (who I estimate were age 6 & 7 at the time) out for the night.

We went to a local farm that, as it turns out, was infamous for the Halloween adventures it provided. We found there were two lines; the shorter less frightening and the longer, get your full dollars worth of fright. Obviously we selected the longer and better scare value for our dollar. We stood in line for a long time – laughing to keep our nerves at bay. Andy, who generally is a talkative child, was quite. As our turn grew closer he started asking questions about how scary this might be. Full time good parents would notice this as a sign – what can I say?

Confidently we assured him that it would NOT be that scary. We had been through many a haunted house and maze – each generally lame but a lot of fun. We entered the maze with the normal amount of fun filled fear but things suddenly grew grim. The set-ups were surprisingly real: the mad scientist looked like he was performing an operation, the mummy was aged to perfection – ladies and gentlemen, this was not your neighborhood haunted corn maze. Jess, her friend, and Maddy soon began to cling to each other and then to me. Tom took up the rear with Andy close to his side.

And then it happened. The man with the change saw jumped out behind us and started for Andy. He took off in a full sprint only to be cut off by a second man with a chain saw. In a full panic, Andy quickly turned and started running back to Tom. You know in the movies when the main character is being chased and they fall to the ground in fear? Well, I can attest that this is based on true accounts. Andy hit the ground spread eagle. He quickly jumped up and ran to his daddy. He never stopped until he reached the top of Tom’s head.

There we were in the middle of the haunted corn maze. The girls were screaming. Andy was perched on top of Tom’s head like a monkey clinging to a coconut tree. Tom and I were frozen in uncontrollable fits of laughter. Just thinking of it brings tears to my eyes. We quickly plucked Andy down so Tom could carry him as we ran through the rest of the maze announcing “No, we are sure it will not be scary any more” warning the actors in front of us that we had a panic stricken child in tow.

I feel badly about this story for a few reasons: 1) We totally ruined the maze for the people behind us, 2) Andy to this day does not like haunted houses, and 3) just thinking about it makes me laugh out loud and hard. Sorry Andy!

Assignment: Laugh!