Surprise!

My work in the city has exposed me to a number of things that certainly spike my interest but really don't surprise me any longer. Hearing a man/woman in a lively (and loud) conversation with themselves? Please, that is a daily occurrence and most of the time . . .there isn't a bluetooth involved.

I once heard a man ask for some money from a stranger. Again, daily occurrence but I loved his angle "Listen I need a few bucks to buy some beer. I am coming down from a heroin high and I need to get something fast". Hum, the honest approach; it worked for Macy's in Miracle on 34th Street and it worked for this guy. I think we all respected him a little more that day.

The local "please my children are at home alone and my car is broken down" lady was once spotted actually flagging down a taxi. I don't know if she was really going home this time but I saw her get in the cab. Side note: Why is it I can recognized those people who ask me for money EVERY DAY but they can't recognize me? Isn't that an important skill set for that profession? Confession: Sometimes I give her a buck just because she does tell the story well.

Now this story . . . and it surprised me. Let me set the stage: It is a Friday afternoon on a hot summer day. I had to work late that night so I walked down to the local Subway for a late lunch/early dinner. The only people in Subway: me and the sandwich artist (their title not mine). I take a seat near the door and windows so I can listen to the news and scan my phone messages.

In walks a man with a bike helmet and no bike. I know he doesn't have a bike because I am sitting at the window. He orders a yogurt, walks over to my table, sits down, opens the yogurt, licks the top, and starts eating. No "hello". No "is this seat taken"? No "how you doing"? I finish up my business and leave without saying goodbye.

Odd right? Well here is where I get surprised. I come home to tell my hubby Tom what happened. This is our conversation:

Me: blah, blah, blah - the story I just wrote.
Tom: Did he sit across from you?
Me: No - across and to the side.
Tom: Oh, it would have been worse if he sat across from you. Maybe he just doesn't like to eat alone.

Okay . . . .(insert loud car brake sounds and tires burning) . . .back this up! I expected "maybe he thought you were hot" because that would have gotten Tom and eye roll and points. I thought maybe a "hell yes that is odd - you stop eating alone" because that would have made him feel protective. I thought maybe a "yeah - strange", ah, because it was! But never, ever, never, did I think "maybe he doesn't like to eat alone"!!!

Assignment: Just because you have lived, loved and been with someone for 23 years; you can still find surprise in your relationship.

Story Teller

I have always loved to tell stories. In elementary school my classmates and I created a game that I would later learn was called improvisation. Friends would give me three words and I would weave a story to keep us entertained and distracted from math.

Speech class was mandatory once I entered middle school so I was free to spin my stories with the teachers approval. My speech teacher grew to be a great mentor and positive influence in my life. She encouraged me to audition for the talent show and school theatre. Through theatre I not only had the freedom to tell stories but I had a warm and welcoming community of friends, a foundation for growing confidence, and hands-on experience that would later benefit my career.

Once I entered the world of non-profit, my joy for story telling took on a new meaning. The stories I shared had real faces, real families and real challenges, successes, and solutions. I was happy - this was my calling - but deep in my heart I hoped to someday come back to theatre. Then in a strange twist of fate and a number of circumstances that lead to a friendship, I learned of an opening at a local community theatre. I applied, I was offer the position, and for the past year I have experienced joy and career enrichment I didn't know possible. I am not on the stage but behind the scenes; telling the story of the importance of art in our communities. I am helping to share the magic of live theatre with thousands. I am blessed.

You may not believe in God but I have to tell you I do. I do because I am certainly not smart enough to link all the right people, circumstances, and skill sets needed to bring this story to this point in my life. If left to my own desire, I would be a comfortably kept woman on a sofa eating bonbons while watching soaps to fill the void in my life. No lie, my personal expectations have always been low. Thank God I have learned not to follow my own desire.

Assignment: You know that feeling that you have deep, deep inside telling you to do something, take action, follow this path instead of that path . . . .trust that you have been given all that you need and you will find purpose. Trust, Believe, and Listen.

Fear - she's a bitch

It has been nearly a year since I have written an entry on this blog. At first it was because my mojo had dried and creative Nancy was no where to be found. Then it was time, or the lack of it, so I just didn't write. Then it was easier to be lazy; to put it off, and suddenly that was the norm.

Things have happened in the last year and I know the meditation through writing would have probably helped clear my head and set things straight but it was easier just to NOT do it because NOT doing it would mean I couldn't fail. It also meant that I didn't have to face the changes that were happening.

It is funny how fear can stop us from doing things we like. Fear of success is a paralyzing emotion and nearly has harmful as fear of failure. Fear can rob a person of joy and fulfilment. It can hold a person back from achieving potential. Fear, shes a bitch.

Writing the blog isn't the only fear that has been holding me back. I have also been afraid to really get healthy again. In my 20's and 30's I was fit and felt great. Now, in my 40's I've found it easier to just NOT be fit or healthy. I had a major eye opener this past June at the camp for which I volunteer. I was 'racing' one of my campers and at the end I was doubled over and unable to get my breath . . .for A. Very.Long.Time. That has never, ever, never, been the case before and ouch, the pride was punctured, I realized I might actually have an expiration date and it could be enforced sooner than expected if I didn't stop - STOPPING.

So as the final year of my 40's quickly approaches, I am not going to take this laying down an longer . . .(er, not going to take this sitting on the couch, laying down, or anything to avoid body movement). I have found a running friend and we are going to hold each other accountable to see this thing through. We have a 5k goal for October 1st (send good thoughts)as our first motivational target. I have also been doing core workouts to keep my back in shape because it isn't until that baby hurts 24-7 that you realize how important a back is to your overall happiness.

But mostly, I have decided that fear will not rob me of my joy any longer. By the way, you have no idea how afraid I was to post that I am 'working out again' because I have failed at this many times over the past years but that is the point isn't it.

Talk with you soon . . . .promise.

Assignment: Help others find peace in the sea of fear they may face.

Flu

At 5:00 AM I heard the shower running. Andy didn't feel well and thought a shower would help. At 7:00 AMI heard the bath filling. Andy said he had the flu and sitting in the water felt good. He then told me his 'self-healing' plans for the day. It was at this moment I knew I was needed at home:

Me: "Andy, do you want me to stay home with you today?"
Andy: "Mom, I would love it but can you?"
Me: "Hello Bruce . . . .(my very understanding boss)"

So I am home with my man-child son. He is running a fever and sleeping heavily. He has already ingested enough water to sustain a small ocean mammal. He will soon be better, in fact, to quote Maddy: "Well, at least we know he will feel better in 24 hours". That is good because Friday is our first game (oh, the pressure on his body and the true concern for his health as long as it doesn't impact football)

I think it best I stayed home, I would have hated to have him shave his head just because he was hot or take an over-the-counter just because he liked the color of the box. His 'self-healing plan' was a bit alarming.

Assignment: NO matter the age of your child - if you have a chance to be 'mommy' again. . .DO IT!

Happy New Monday

This will be a better week. This will be a better week. This will be a better week. I am clicking my shoes together while saying this.

Last week was a highly stressful week at work (project deadlines). On the upside, I spent the weekend cleaning my house (very calming) and it looks great.

This will be a better week . . . .

Assignment: Positive thinking!

It is in the AIR!

Can you feel it? Tonight is the first Football Scrimage for the season. Oh how I have missed high school football. This is a special year for us: Andy is a senior.

Assignment: A year of many lasts has just begun.

Worst Mom - EVER!

I think that Maddy, being our last child, has turned me into a dolt. I seem to allow things that I would never have considered with our other children. I believe this past year I have official entered the "Worst Mom - Ever" contest and I might actually win.

1. Maddy was invited to Florida for Spring Break. I really thought this was a great idea. I strongly encouraged her to go. She did not feel comfortable going with these friends. Perhaps it was because these friends were both boys! Brothers to be accurate - and for the record - the parents, whom I know and trust, were also going. I had close friends who were boys in high school - I would have gone to Florida with their family if asked. Bad mom for encouraging a daughter to go to another state with boys! I have seen Springer; most of those stories come from Florida.

2. Maddy had a sore throat the Saturday she was to leave for Mission Trip. I was talked into letting her go - against my better judgment. They were going to North Carolina for the Mission Trip. When they reached Tennessee the throat wasn't getting better so they went to a medi-center. They tested her and diagnosed it as mono. I think they were wrong or it was a very low case of mono. However, she was sick and I shouldn't have lisened to others and made her stay home. Terrible week for me (she had fun) so that was my punishment I guess.

3. Maddy turned 16 this year. She wanted a tattoo. Not a rainbow, sun, or dolphin jumping from a wave (no offense but really for a 16 year old – you know); no, she wanted a memory. She wanted the date of her cancer diagnosis and the date of her remission. This was a tense and very long discussion in our home. Here she is with the tat. Sexy Bob did the artwork. Yeap that was his name: Sexy Bob.


I am sure there are many other Worst Mom stories that have happened over the past 8 months - and we still have 4 more to go. In fact, I know there are more stories but I am worn down so num that I can't remember them all. I am starting to blur between the right/wrong of parenting. I should set a date for my crown fitting and find a nice dress to accept my award.

Assignment: Dr. Spock. . Calling Dr. Spock! Why didn't you write a care and feeding book for teens!